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Lost Colony Book Quotes

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Artemis Fowl

“Believe me, he is not here. If he were, there would be a lot of screaming.”

“Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?”

“Butler, is that you behind all that hair?”

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Beau Paradizo

“You fairies stink. Especially you, hairy. You stink worse than the blocked toilet in Aunty Morgana’s. Stinky Fairy.”

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Domovoi Butler

“Could you feel it on the other side of the road?”

“Sirens. We need to get out of this area, Artemis, before I’m forced to cause an international incident.”

“Don’t these demons ever materialise somewhere quiet?”

“Holly, I wish you wouldn’t appear like that. I’m a bodyguard. I get jumpy.”

“A murderer! Wow, did you hear that, Eloise? Daddy caught a murderer.”

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Doodah Day

“Why don’t you get your dwarf stink out of here before I crack your teeth with this hammer.”

“Absolutely anything. I don’t care if Martians built it, Doodah Day can drive it.”

“That’s not all you lost, dwarf. Someone’s going to have to swab the decks in there.”

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Foaly the Centaur

“No, but we do have a shower room. You do know what a shower is, don’t you, Diggums?”

“A cloak of invisibility? This is a highly sensitive piece of field equipment. What does he think? Some warlock pulled it out
of his armpit?”

“I swear, if I weren’t such a fan of mockery myself, I would have you tossed out of here on your combustible behind.”

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Hadley Shrivelington Bassett

“Don’t you get a pain looking at your face in the mirror, imp? Because you’re giving me a pain in mine.”

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Holly Short

“You don’t mind if he doesn’t answer you himself. He might accidentally bite your head off.”

“How do you know about Section 8? Aren’t we allowed any secrets?”

“I’m trying to care, Artemis. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she’s singing, but
it doesn’t appear to be over.”

“Are you grinning, Artemis? For some reason I get the feeling you’re wearing that smug smile of yours.”

“Could you please quit the bum talk. We’re on a tight schedule here.”

“Foaly, you have a free rein, if you’ll pardon the horse analogy.”

“(to Artemis) You certainly pick your moment to develop a sense of humour.”

“Bathroom, Artemis? Is this really the time?”

“That was probably dangerous, you being a pubescent volcano.”

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Mulch Diggums

“Oh, brilliant. I must write that one down in my witty retorts book.”

“I am either going to barf, or fall asleep, or both.”

“All this melodrama. Someone has to poke fun.”

“The pixie is crazy! Give me your gun, Holly. I’m going to shoot him.”

“Can we rewind to the bar of chocolate?”

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No. 1 (Imp)

“What’s that supposed to mean? A wolf’s head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight. Bring your own wolf.”

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