Top 5 Artemis Fowl Quotes

(As objectively and scientifically analysed by KearaAdara)

So we all love AF quotes, be they touching, relatable, or just plain hilarious. In my opinion, everyone needs that one place to go to for a light pick-me-up in the middle of a hectic day, when there’s no time to read the series. (Though there should ALWAYS be time to read the series. Always.) And here are the top 5 AF quotes in the series. Enjoy!

5. “I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.”

Personally I love this quote because of its humour, which is oh-so representative of the vibe and feel of the series we all know and love. But looking beyond that, it’s such a good way of describing the main villain of this series that we share a love-hate relationship with. Opal Koboi, possibly the most bipolar and self-obsessed pixie in creation.

4. “We lost the crickets,” she said. “Even you can’t make that sound tough.”

“I am Butler,” he said with a straight face. “Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy.”

Just as the previous quote sums up Opal, this quote’s specially for Butler, the loyal bodyguard that we all know and love. I really can’t say all that much about it, except that it just makes me want to give Domovoi a big bear hug, concealed M16 rifles and all. It’s one of the many quotes that show Butler’s more caring side, even if it isn’t all that obvious.

3. “I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.”

Since we’re talking quotes that represent characters, I suppose a quote dedicated to our favourite protagonist, Artemis Fowl, seems called for. The genius criminal mastermind’s most recognisable trait’s fully described by this one quote, which I personally laughed at, though to be honest we all know it’s true. But the real reason why this is one of the top quotes is because, for all you emo nerds out there, it’s the perfect line to scare people in school.

2. “I want you to know, my dear friend, that without you, I would not be the person I am today.” He leaned in close and whispered, “I was a broken boy, and you fixed me. Thank you.”

Come on, everyone in the Fowldom knows that this is the quote that had absolutely everyone weeping. It really just summarises Artemis’s amazing development and improvement in a single poignant and succinct line. Combine that with the fact that that was the last book (and that dear Arty was about to DIE), it’s easily the most touching quote in the entire series.

1. “I don’t like lollipops.”

I wish I could have surprised you guys with something new and interesting as the best quote, but this simple four-worder has long since established itself as the most well-known quote of the Fowldom. It’s come to be one of our inside jokes and a way of bonding with fellow Fowlies. It’s not the most touching nor the most funny, but in my opinion, it’s the most important.

Now would anyone like a lollipop?

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