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Artemis Fowl Book Quotes

Artemis Fowl

“Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I’m sure one would be quite sufficient.”

“It’ll be messy, but after a day you’ll be zipping around as though you were a thousand years old again.”

“Artemis Fowl II: Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist and that I am not a gibbering moron.”

“I believe it’s time to let our diminutive friends know exactly who they’re dealing with.”

“Knock yourself out … Or rather, don’t.”

“I am not concerned with us all, just myself. And believe me, I shall be perfectly fine. Now, sit, please.”

“If I win, I’m a prodigy. If I lose then I’m mad. That’s the way history is written.”

“(to Root) Let’s save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them.”

“Trust me. I haven’t been wrong yet.”

“(to Holly) At the risk of sounding clichéd, I’ve been expecting you.”

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Domovoi Butler

“Argh? Pathetic and inarticulate. Nice combination. Your mothers must be so proud.”

“Now before we get into anything, ladies, no scratching, no spitting and no tattling to
mummy.”

“(to Grub Kelp) Very well. I understand. Just … shut up!”

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Foaly the Centaur

“Confidence is ignorance. If you’re feeling cocky, it’s because there’s something you don’t know.”

“It’s like riding a unicorn. You never forget.”

“(to Mulch) I’ll give you a big kiss later, you baby.”

“(to Mulch) Maybe the big baby would like to suck his thumb for comfort.”

“My bugs don’t have bugs.”

“(to Cudgeon) See you tomorrow. You’ll be taking out my trash.”

“(to Artemis): No. This is not the commander. This is Foaly, the centaur. Is this the kidnapping lowlife
human?”

“I’m right there with you, darlin’. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I’m way back in the
Operations Room.”

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Holly Short

“Stay back, human. You don’t know what you’re dealing with.”

“(to Artemis) That’s right, rich boy. You’re on your own this time.”

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Juliet Butler

“Well, leprechauns. You know they’re not real, don’t you?”

“Caveman glasses off. Cool voice, by the way. Doh ray me and all that.”

“Artemis can wait. This is for the intercontinental title. And it’s a grudge match.
Louie ate the Hogman’s pet piggie.”

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Julius Root

“(to Foaly) What are you? Her fairy godmother or something?

“Don’t give me any of your lip today, Foaly, because today is not one of those
Oh-I’m-so-impressed-with-the-pony’s-technology days.”

“(to Foaly) Captain Short’s life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with
your face!”

“Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.”

“(to Cudgeon) Naughty naughty. No one beats Foaly but me.”

“I didn’t trust Fowl when he was alive, and I definitely don’t trust him now that he’s dead.”

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Mulch Diggums

“Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.”

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